This past summer, our family took a road trip. After stopping to get something to eat, my husband and I were sitting next to each other, in a parking lot, in the middle of Indiana when I noticed an unusual store. I asked my husband, “What is HHgreg?” He replied, “What? I don’t see HHgreg, I see a store called Arhaus Furniture.” We were sitting side-by-side, looking the same direction, out the same window AND we each saw something different. How? There was a small tree which blocked our view. I took a photo of what I saw and my husband took a photo of what he saw. Neither of us was wrong, we just had a different perspective based on where we were sitting.Several years ago I had the opportunity to attend diversity training, focused on race, through the school district. The training encouraged us to have “courageous conversations." Our small group of white leaders was challenged to ask our African American friends what it was like to be black in America. We were encouraged to believe our friends rather than defend, or explain, our perspective. I had many courageous conversations, actually I listened a lot more than I talked. I was disheartened by the stories I heard about the experiences of many of my African American friends. I learned that we did not always have the same viewpoints because we were not sitting exactly in the same spot. By listening to my friends’ stories, it was as if we were comparing our side-by-side photos for the first time and I was able to understand a new perspective. Soon I was able to recognize discriminatory situations, which I had not previously noticed, and I was bothered by injustice.
Prejudice (a preconceived opinion or bias) is an obstacle which stands in the way of races understanding each other; it makes the assumption that we all see and experience the same things, when we do not. We need to take the time to ask questions, listen, learn, and empathize. We need to have friends who are racially different than us and stop allowing the news stories, or our limited experiences, to dictate our opinions about others.
Our lives are enriched when we involve people from other races in our lives because it broadens our perspective. I'm so glad I asked my husband about the store that day on our road trip, because I didn't know that he saw something different than me. I'm even more grateful that I had courageous conversations with my African American friends and learned about things I had not previously seen or experienced. Perspective is not about being right, it's really about the vantage point from where we sit.
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| My View |
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| Husband's view |
