Surprise Me Lord

Wow, what a weekend.  I am writing this on the flight home from Miami where I attended a “Surprise Wedding.”  A young man, Ryan, was dating Amanda for several years.  Her dream was to be engaged and married on the same day.  What a brave and bold dream. 

Unbeknown to her, Ryan worked on planning this wedding for a year and a half.  He wanted to fulfill her dream. He planned the big day to be in Florida as a SURPRISE to her!  

I am a planner.  I wouldn’t consider myself a control freak, but rather a “responsible person” who needs to make sure all of the details are worked out.  The concept of a surprise wedding baffled me.  I wouldn’t want to leave it up to the groom to plan it all. I wondered what would happen if she said no.  There was a lot at stake for both of them.

A tropical storm in the area affected many of his specific plans.  Amanda’s flight was canceled.  Ryan worked feverishly to reschedule her flight; she arrived late Thursday night.  He quickly realized that the only thing that was important was the soon-to-be-bride being there.  Early the next morning, he let her know that today was “the day.”  He proposed, “Will you marry me today?” She said yes.  Then he had a mini-gathering for all of the guests who traveled from all over the country.  We briefly celebrated the engagement before wedding preparations began.

I personally don’t like being surprised and I’m not sure I would have liked my groom to do all of the wedding planning.  But you should have seen Amanda’s face – tears of joy coupled with unbelievable excitement! She was overflowing with gratitude.  Before she even knew everything he had planned, she said “This is perfect.”  She trusted her groom.  What a genius she was!  She did not have to fret over the details of a wedding. She literally just had to say “yes” and be the bride.

Ryan’s plans were amazing and she was totally surprised!  He planned the proposal and he figured out a way for her to pick out her own wedding dress.  He thought of EVERYTHING: guest list, invites, flowers, program, pastor, wedding party, rings, tuxes, bridesmaids’ dresses, ushers, musicians, groom's dinner, reception dinner, DJ, and honeymoon. There were about 100 people at this surprise wedding. This was not thrown together; it was a fully planned dream wedding. He wanted to please his soon-to-be-bride and he gave his best.

As I watched this unfold I was challenged!  The level of trust and love they had for each other was astounding. She accepted whatever he planned with gratitude and he trusted she would say “yes.”  It was then I saw the downside of being overly “responsible”.  Maybe I would experience more joy with a greater level of trust for the Lord.  Maybe surprises aren’t so bad.  After all, this was amazing! Ryan went above and beyond and she did not have to experience the stress of planning it…just the joy of experiencing it! 

The wedding did not turn out exactly like Ryan had planned; he faced many obstacles.  The tropical storm raged throughout the day; the streets flooded, flights delayed, guests delayed, the wedding moved indoors, and original reception area flooded.  Ryan handled every setback with class and made the necessary adjustments. Amanda was able to enjoy being the bride. The wedding turned out beautiful and they were “Mr. & Mrs.” by the end of the day.

The Bible refers to the church as the “bride of Christ.”  Maybe this is how Christianity is supposed to work - trust the groom!  Christ is planning many good things for us that we are not aware of, storms rage but His glorious return is still coming.  Perhaps our own need to plan everything cheats us out of many blessings.  We don’t need to fret and worry; we just need to say “yes” with gratitude.  This weekend, I found myself praying, “Lord, I’m sorry for not trusting You more. I am sorry for trying to plan it all.  Will you surprise me?”  It makes sense. Why fret? Why do it all in our own strength?  Let the Lord take care of the details of our lives. After all, the Bible says God does exceedingly above all we can ask or think (Eph 3:20).

I am ready for the Lord to surprise me, how about you?

Piled Up?

Everyone has it. The pile of things we need to do when we have time.  Some people have a pile of papers on their desk or a pile of household items to be sorted through.  Maybe the pile is a corner of stuff in the garage or, in some cases, maybe the whole garage has become a pile.  It’s the pile of things we know we should do when we have time.  Our days fill up and when the day becomes too full the unfinished, and less urgent, items join the pile. 

We will eventually get to the pile, when we are not busy.  But today, we are busy.

It was a Business professor who asked me if I was addicted to being busy.  I laughed, but I had to face the fact that I enjoyed being busy and I had become accustomed to it.  I returned to school as an adult; I was extremely busy with homework, work, school board and taking care of my family.  I had become used to the adrenaline rush in order to get stuff done.  But not everything was done, there was a pile. Don’t worry there was nothing urgent in the pile.

I finished school, took time off work and slowed my life down; I was able to get to the pile. I filed papers, organized rooms, reconnected with friends, read books, and took care of the non-urgent items.  I felt a sense of accomplishment and a sense of sadness when I realized a few important items were buried in the pile.  I realized it was too easy to stay busy and miss out on things that were important like relationships, mealtimes with family, and sitting around to watch a movie or play a game.  The non-urgent things were in the pile.

It’s not easy to slow down, but we must.     

If things are piling up, it’s a good indication that we might be too busy.  Maybe some important things have been buried in the pile because they were not urgent at the time: devotions, diet and exercise, relaxation, shopping, time with friends, and time with our children or spouse.  We need to take time to relax and sort through the busyness.  We need to learn to say “no” and create margin in our lives, otherwise important things might end up buried in our pile.

Undeserved Gift



The words “Love is patient, love is kind” is found in I Corinthians 13 . This chapter is referred to as the love chapter and is often read at weddings.  The best marriage, or relationship, advice I could offer is to focus on what love is; simply, love is patient and kind.  The remaining verses in the love chapter explain what love is not. 

While I was out shopping, I found myself pondering “love is patient, love is kind.” I was lost in my thoughts and unloaded my cart in the express lane; I had way more than 12 items.  I did not realize my error until I saw the people in line behind me holding only a few items.  I was so embarrassed!  I apologized profusely to the cashier and to the other customers. Guess what?  They were all patient and kind to me.  What an undeserved gift!

Patience and kindness extends grace to others.  When I make a mistake, I appreciate it when others are patient and kind to me.  I try to remind myself to extend patience and kindness to others when they make a mistake.  It's not easy, so I had a plaque made displaying the words “Love is patient, love is kind.” I have it in a location where I see it every day to remind me to be nice.

Let's improve our relationships this season by giving patience and kindness to those around us.  According to Romans 2:4, God’s kindness leads people to repentance.  Loving those around us is something we all have to work on everyday, but it will make a signficant difference in our relationships. Love never fails.

Are you an angry Christian?

As I think about this election, the country is divided and people on both sides of the political aisle are angry.  One thing I learned about anger, it is often a result of a person feeling powerless. 

If Christians are arguing over politics, perhaps “Christians feel powerless.”   The desire to change society through political means is not new to Christianity.  It happened in Biblical times; after Jesus fed the five thousand in John 6, the people wanted to make him an earthly king.

John 6:14-15 "After the people saw the sign Jesus performed, they began to say, 'Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.' Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself. When Jesus was on earth the people wanted to make him an earthly king.” 

Changing society through political means is not the message Jesus came to bring.   Jesus was unwilling to become an earthly king. The Bible is clear that Jesus came to establish the kingdom of God on this earth; not to rule the kingdom of men.

In the Bible, the book of Esther is a great model for Christians who want to influence society today.  Queen Esther was a Jew living among non-Jews.  She could have demanded kosher food and announced her origin, but she did not.  The Bible said the king was pleased with Queen Esther and she won favor with everyone around her.  At the right time, Queen Esther had the influence to save her people.

Christians should vote and be involved in politics.  However, if Christians put their hope in political outcomes, of any kind, they need to reevaluate which kingdom they are plugged into.  If individuals do not care for those in authority, they will lose favor and influence in society.

The kingdom of God is powerful. The Word of God is powerful. Prayer is powerful. Christians need to plug into the kingdom of God.

Do you want to make a difference? Read the book of Esther and then study the gospels to learn about the kingdom of God.  Be nice to those around you; clothe yourself with humility, honor and prayer.  2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “ if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”  

 

Christians should not feel angry and powerless.  Prayer is not the last resort, it should be the first option.Cross references:2 Chronicles 7:14 : S Nu 6:27

 

The Power of Nurture

My husband and I planted a tree in our front yard nearly a decade ago.  It had about a four inch diameter trunk, but after a few years it struggled.  The leaves withered each year and moss began to grow on the trunk.  The tree was barely alive with minimal growth.  We wondered if we would have to chop it down. 

I noticed our neighbor’s tree was huge.  It was planted at the same time but it was growing, the leaves green, it was full and plush.  After some investigation, I learned the secret of their tree’s success.  They nurtured it!  They fertilized it each year and treated the leaves to prevent the bug infestation.  It wasn’t obvious at first, but years of nurturing paid off and it was noticeable a decade later.  I guess trees need more than just water.

My husband and I took on the challenge of nurturing our tree back to health.  We fertilized it each year and sprayed the leaves.  The tree came back and began to grow. The past few years, the leaves have been green and plush.  It is still smaller than our neighbor’s tree but it’s thriving now.

After our tree began to recover, I heard a message from “Living on the Edge” about the importance of the role of a mother; a mother should nurture, protect, and provide for her children (in that order).  I thought about my kids and my own goals.  I pondered the idea of nurture and wondered the difference it could make in their lives.  I made a commitment to do my best to learn how to nurture them.   In the short term, it’s not flashy or rewarding but it will produce thriving in the future.      

So here’s to the value of nurture - every day I look out at the tree in my front yard and I am reminded how the small things add up to make a big difference. 

Misunderstood at the Light

By my house, the morning traffic is very busy and if a driver misses the green left-turn signal, it will be another five minutes before the light turns green.   In the morning, five minutes seems like an eternity.  Since only a few cars are let through with each green light, a short 15-minute drive could be stretched into a 20 or 25 minute commute. 

My son was running late, again!  I had to drop him off at school and I only had 15 minutes to get him there.  The left-turn signal was already green, and backed up.  I decided to go straight, make a u-turn, and make a right-hand turn onto the highway to save time. I wasn’t the only one.  As I waited to take the right turn, there were three cars ahead me.  The lead car was hesitating to turn, so I decided to give a gentle honk of encouragement.  After a few minutes lapsed, I quickly honked again. 

To my surprise, the driver directly ahead of me jumped out of her vehicle.  With her arms flailing, she cussed me out.  “What is your #%-^*#!  problem?” she asked, “Quit honking at ME!" I was shocked, “I wasn’t honking at you,” I calmly explained.  She didn’t care!  She continued her rant and jumped back into her car.

Stunned, I looked over at my shocked son and said, “Lesson learned, don’t honk.” 

I picked up a few other lessons that morning at the light.  First, don’t assume.  The woman assumed she was being honked at and took personal offense to the honking.  There could have been a dozen other things that could have happened.  What if my son reached over and honked the horn?  What if my horn was broken?  What if I was digging around in my car and bumped my horn twice? What if I was honking at my friend in the lane next to me?  What if it was the person behind me honking?  What if I had a medical emergency?  One thing was for sure,  I wasn’t honking at her.  She asked me what my problem was but never stopped to listen to my answer.  

Second, don’t jump out of your car, in an intersection, and yell at someone (especially if you have personalized license plates).  Sounds funny, but it's true.  When you are offended, take the time to find out what  the person really intended.  You may be surprised to discover, it had nothing to do with you.

How many times in our own lives do we assume someone is “honking” at us when they are not, do we take the time to listen?   How many times do we let our own impatience send the wrong signals to others? 

 

You should...

Several weeks ago my son was frustrated with a friend.  I naturally wanted to fix the situation so I suggested, “You should...text him.”  My son became upset and asked, “Mom, don’t you think I know how to contact my friends?”  Did I not know he was friendship savvy?  Of course I knew he was savvy!  However, I did not portray my good sentiments by the way I framed my suggestion.  Although my motive was pure, it felt demeaning to my son, and I had to apologize.

I chatted with my sister about the situation. She suggested in the future reframing my advice with a question and eliminating the phrase “you should.”  If I would have asked my son, “Have you considered texting your friend?” He would have replied, “Yes, I have already texted him three times!” She was right! If my advice was framed as a question, I would have understood the whole situation.  My original "you should" advice was not revelant and the whole misunderstanding could have been avoided!

I learned a valuable lesson: ask a question instead of giving a “you should” answer. It might  be a challenge for a “fix it” person like me, but today I am offically eliminating "you should" from my vocabulary. 

How about you, do you find yourself offering “you should” advice?